The real challenge in my life, the real hardship is me. It's always been me. As long as I can remember, I've never not been afraid. Afraid of failure, of letting people down, hurting people, getting hurt. I thought if I kept my guard up and focused on other things, other people, if I couldn't even feel it, well then no harm would come to me. I screwed up. When I shut out the pain, I shut out everything. The good and the bad. Until there was nothing. It's fine to just live in the now, but the best part about "now" is there's another one tomorrow. And I'm gonna start making them count.
[ the spectacular now ]
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